I noiselessly slid my hand beneath the painting and into the concealment located behind it. I should have retrieved my Beretta 92FS 9mm pistol, one of four weapons I keep stashed around the place, but instead my hand closed on nothing. The concealment was empty.I was debating between retreating out the door and charging into the living room when a voice called pleasantly from the other room, "You have an impressive array of weaponry, but I assure you we come in peace. Please join us."With that the lights came on in the next room. As the saying goes, "If they wanted me dead I would be dead already," so I walked into my living room to join whoever it was that had defeated my alarm systems and removed at least one of my defensive weapons from its hiding place. I have to admit I was taken aback by what I saw as I came around the corner. I haven't seen everything, but I have seen quite a bit and it takes a lot to surprise me. This surprised me.Sitting on my couch were two persons. Jeans, tights, a blouse cut a little lowand short on the sleeve so that the skin on your arms would goosebump when you slippedyour coat off, heels that cause you to stumble.You would remove the coat and sit, ordering the drink that you had been instructed toorder. You might have been instructed to slip to the bathroom after five minutes toremove the jeans and swap them for a short skirt, confirming who you are and making mesmile. Perhaps some others in the shop might notice. Perhaps not.After ten minutes you would go to the bathroom as instructed again, this time removingthe tights, returning to looks from customers of amused bewilderment at why on earthyou would be losing your tights in the middle of winter in a bookshop. The suppressedgiggle, the muttering. That soft stroke of humiliation as you wait, anticipating whatis to follow. The whispered chuckles of those watching you, you wondering which I am.You blush a little, conscious you are wet, embarrassed that this whole charade.
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